The red river
I was a girl,
and they did not notice me,
when it all began
I, being frightened, left for the other shore,
alongside the pomegranate tree,
from there I saw how disguised men
broke the drums, the flutes
and the violins over their knees,
one of them laughed so savagely,
that I started to bleed from the left ear,
then, once all the instruments were destroyed,
they started with the scores and the musicians.
At one moment I must have lost consciousness,
my blood dyed the river the color of the pomegranate tree.
Later when I awoke,
all of the city had been reduced to silence,
and I had turned
into the red river that had seen the music die.
--Julia Otxoa. Translation by Kelly Burke.
I really liked this. I think the last verse ties it all together very well. I did think the verse "I, being frightened, left for the other shore," was a little awkward in English but other than that I think the poem had good flow and was nice.
ReplyDeleteThanks Anna! And I agree with you about the verse "I, being frightened, left for the other shore". It was kind of tricky to translate and I tried to keep it literal in the sense of not changing the structure/wording of the original. But it may have been better if I took a more liberal approach to that line.
DeleteI really like your translation. I feel like you used a very informal register, but used such strong words that it could convey a lot of meaning. The verses that caught my eye were "that had seen the music die" as well as "one of them laughed so savagely". A part from your translation, I like your choice of poem, because it offers a sort of story for the audience and translator.
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